23 September 2009

its easy to say it to others.
why issit harder to do it myself.
i ought not to get distracted.
but i mus admit. its always on my mind.
but now, im trying to push it to be the back of my mind.
maybe the wallpaper isnt helping.(laptop)
and the alone moments im afforded at work isnt helping much too..
very good moment for me to go into deep thoughts.
cos BOSS is not around. hahas.
i tink my smile look damn awkward..
ok. why i realise it
cos im bored at work. tts why i take my cam any play.. testing teh cam meanwhile
btw, im slowly adapting into attachment life.. but it sucks when most of my frens are having hols now..
oso im slightly disappointed of IAP cos i tot work can occupy my thoughts.
though it does occupy a certain portion. but still not enough.
i dunn wan to be reminded time and time agn.
maybe i only have myself to blame. :D
anw.. conclusion of my reflection of my life.

EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS I WAN TO ACHIEVE OR OBTAIN.
BUT I DUN TINK IM PUTTING ENOUGH EFFORT IN IT.
BE IN WORK, RELATIONSHIP OR WATEVER SORT OF THINGS.. I NEED TO LEAVE MY COMFORT ZONE.
BUT I DUN HV THE CONFIDENCE.
ESP AT WORK. IM REALLY SCARED I WILL SCREW UP MY IAP. IS NOT ROUTINE WORK IM DOING.
BUT A PROJECT. IMAGINE IHP WIT SALARY..
WORSE. THERE IS NO ONE TO BACK ME UP. IM ALL ON MY OWN...
IM SCARED.. IM REALLY SCARED.
BUT SHE WONT BE THERE FOR ME ALR...

HAHA. CHEER UP DUDE.

a doctor cant never heal his ownself.
i wan a short getaway trip. go anywhere oso can. jus can relax and have fun.
lying on the suntan chair, drinking cocktail and jus enjoy the sun.....
YEP trip is a must for me nxt yr. cos the last experience is a good one.
i wan to go for it agn. but we were lucky previously. cos workload not heavy..
the nxt one i dun tink will be tt lucky. but still.. looking at those small kids having fun. is oso good for ur mind.


but seriously.. let me emo for awhile more.
really. i dun like the way my life is now.
sometimes early in the morning after bath i come out.
suddenly feel damn chilly. i will tink. HOW SAD IS LIFE NOW....
seriously sometimes i wonder wats the value of ur faith.
it seems tt it ends so easily. like one snap. over liao.
i din have time to react or should i say. i dun have time to understand the situation.
maybe the fault lies with me. but i dunno wat did i do wrong. everything is all u say one. u never tell me anything. not even a valid reason..
btw are u seriously not gonna rply me forever. but why am i writing all tis.? when maybe she wont even read or even if she does read.. maybe she will tink *i hate guys who are very emo* etc. even if she doesnt tink anything. tis is my space for freedom of speech. so if there are peeps who wan to KP me. i will jus say. FUCK OFF. you are warned. actually main reason is i see ppl write abt tis too. ahahaahahahhahas. is a good form of venting all ur unhappiness.. true true true..... im a happier man than 0.5 hrs ago. jus slightly better... but its a improvement. good job dude. work harder. :D

on the positive note,
and congrats to jiafeng for passing his TP today uh.. cruising trip soon. me and eugene be pillion. hahas

posted @ 9/23/2009 02:12:00 PM |